Do You Have Hair Envy?
I have. Sometime I look at someone else’s hair and I think, “Why not me? If only my hair was longer and my curls looser and bigger.”
Hair envy can be good, if it is a motivating factor to properly caring for your hair. By learning about the other persons hair, we may find new products that work for us, or we may begin to protective style to retain our length. We may even be exposed to new practices that benefit our hair. But, natural hair is an investment. The pay off - be it healthy hair, full hair, or long hair - can take years! (Why oh why didn’t I big chop after my daughter was born, when I had the chance?) So, because our goals are so far away, we envy those who have already been there, done that. But there is a dark side to hair envy. Hair Hating. It doesn’t have to be that you covet someone else’s hair. It could be that you judge someone else’s hair.
“Why is her hair so dry looking?”
“Her fro is so uneven!”
“Why isn’t her hair growing?”
“Her twist out is a mess!”
“Why does she constantly protective style?”
Have you ever thought these words, or for our bolder readers, said them out loud?
Let’s be real, we have all Hair Hated before. Its normal to compare ourselves to others, and as humans, we all want to come out on top. But remember, as you are hating on others, they could be hating on you too (holds up mirror).
Being natural is hard enough. I expect women with straight hair to hate on me because I am going against the status quo (I am proudly wearing the hair that they make concerted efforts to eliminate). But from other naturals, this type of behavior is self serving and destructive. So instead of trying to tear our fellow naturalista’s down, let’s try to build them up. Share your regimen. Share your products. Share your love of hair. Let’s all attain our goals together.